This may be your only chance to find out what is going on in the papers, if a survey reported in the Financial Times is correct. Newspaper readership is in sharp decline, with only 42 per cent of 18 to 27 year olds reading a national newspaper three times a week.
So what are you missing? Ringo Starr, in the Independent , has caused mayhem by saying that there is nothing that he misses about Liverpool - not the most tactful of remarks as its stint as European City of Culture kicks off. And also in the Independent, comedian Marcus Brigstocke describes the 'agonising financial experience' of making everything green in his home in Wandsworth, south London, including a chimney balloon above the fireplace – you take it out if you want to light the fire.
Rowan Moore in the Evening Standard is incensed by the insensitive positioning of a bog-standard Costa Coffee outlet right at the entrance to the new Terminal Five bulding, which he says 'punctures the splendour around it with a deadly bathos'.
There could be further bathos – or further splendour – in the pipeline, as The Times reports that BAA is refusing to rule out a fourth runway at Heathrow, and a seventh terminal…
Meanwhile the Telegraph notes that a paper plane is to be launched from the International Space Station – 400km above earth – in an experiment to perfect designs for lightweight re-entry vehicles. As you might expect, the 20cm-long plane, designed by engineers and origami masters, is made from heat-resistent paper.
And the Telegraph provides a dose of realism from the Tories, who claim Gordon Brown doesn't have 'a cat in hell's chance' of meeting his target of 3 million new homes by 2020, thanks to the looming recession we seem to be plunging inexorably towards.