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Watch what you do with that software

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I am reluctant to point anybody in the direction of what one of my AJ colleagues calls pervy bosses'snooping software, but since it is available on the net you are going to find out anyway.

One such is called WebWatcher which, so its site www. cochrane. nu claims, will 'stop internet abuse before it starts!'

'Businesses will benefit from increased productivity and better performance from employees who know what is and what is not acceptable, ' it burbles piously, and explains that whenever an employee browses sites deemed non-business orientated, the boss is secretly e-mailed with a list of the 'abuser's' recent browses and, should it be deemed effective, a notice pops up on the 'abuser's'screen. Apart from the fact that 'abusers' might be consulting the Delia Smith website for ideas for the evening meal, personally I would check with your lawyer before you install this or any other snooping software, especially since the Human Rights thing became law.

So you are being bullied by the staff to get them sexy flat screens just like the flash gits in that commercial practice down the road. Tell them to get stuffed and wait until the end of the year when, the trade paper Microscope reports, prices for entry-level 15' TFT flat screens will probably be around £300. That is the current price of a seriously upmarket 17' cathode ray tube (CRT) monitor.

Second thoughts, threaten the staff with having to wear those Olympus Eye-Treks, which make them look like blind bug-eyed insects and stop any eyecontact hanky panky dead in the office.

The downside is you can't easily check to see if the staff are downloading pix of marginally clad young persons with exaggerated personal attributes because only they can see the pair of screens a few centimetres in front of their corneas. That, I suppose, is when you have got a case for implementing software such as WebWatcher.

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