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Things really do just work and Big Brother closes in

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You know that terrific 'Isn't it nice, when things just work' advert, which Honda ran on TV recently - the Professor Brainstawm one with tyres rolling uphill, setting off mobile radiator fans and scrabbling windscreen wipers? Despite straight-faced claims about it taking 600 real-life takes and £750,000, a mate of mine was convinced it was really done using rigid body dynamics (RBD), the latest and best thing in 3D graphics since sliced bread and inverse kinematics. He rang up and admitted he was wrong.

Still, they cheated - the Accord doesn't have four batteries.

You can see and download the whole wonderful movie from http: //home.

attbi. com/~bernhard36/hondaad. html. This is a new fan site, which has other related goodies and, observing web proprieties, also refers you to the official Honda site at http: //multimedia.

honda-eu. com/accord. My source for this delight is the ever-fascinating LangaList at www. langa. com.

Bribe the practice accountant and find out if your office is paying fees to Verilocation at www. verilocation. com.

This service allows your practice partners to check where you are at any time of the day or night. After paying an entrance fee of £249 and £20 per mobile, it costs them just 20p to pinpoint your location on a map of the British Isles.

So if you're in the Slug and Lettuce having a fifth bevy instead of having that long brick wall relaid, you could be in for a shock when they call you up and ask you why you are where you are and not where you should be. The night bit is also a tad worrying, especially if you're spending a lot of secret but quality time with the partner's favourite offspring. Or spouse.

There is a £1 single non-subscriber search facility. But before paranoid spouses get too excited, the person being tracked has to agree to have their location reported.

Fat chance. Come to think of it, though, declining to cooperate might suggest you have something to hide. Fleetonline at www. fleetonline. net apparently does something similar.

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