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Oh dear, Oh dear: The hot news from the Cannes film festival was that Pan Am Pictures, whoever they are, are to make a film of the life story of us property developer and ego-without-equal, Donald Trump. Not so much a tale of Citizen Kane as of Citizen Pain. Which reminds me of a rather endearing saying by the New York resident, but British ex-pat, Quentin Crisp: 'If at first you don't succeed, perhaps failure is your style.'

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