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Please don't mention the e-war!

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You are probably familiar with the big knowledge bases such as Microsoft's at http://search.support.microsoft.com, IBM's at www-1.ibm.com/support and Intel's at http://support.intel.com. But I quite like the random-feed approach of the Windows-help.NET newsletter from IfiniSource. It offers a weekly summary of the trends in computing, new kit and chip prices and it offers technical howtos and the latest patches. OK, it helps if you are a bit nerdy, but even if you are not it is comforting to have it on your screen every week. Subscribe free at www.windows-help.net/Newsletter/subscriptions.html.

One of our colleagues has been grouched at over a CD she brought back from a trade fair in Germany. Don't all do air violins: foreign factory and exhibition tours are living hell, not least because - unlike you readers - we are not offered really long lunches and exotic entertainment. The only bare flesh I have ever seen as a hack was this bloke in swimming trunks diving from the top of a Marriot hotel. The second to last tour I went on, the host asked us at breakfast to settle our individual bar bills. None of us wrote a word about that trip. On the last one the guide showing us round this ghastly medieval town said to me: 'Would you please stand in ze middle of ze road. Zere is a car coming.' The CD from this international show turned out to be in German. International?

Aided by a translator in the office my colleague installed, as required by the CD, a runtime version of the database Access2000. This turned out to be incompatible with the office computer and the programme suggested that it de-install itself. Teutonic thoroughness?

Not. Next morning the office version of Access started talking in German.

Aaaaargh, a thorough deinfestation and telling off by our IT police. All for some poxy addresses. I am not divulging the website of this bunch of dimwits because you would only spam it with messages mentioning the war.

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