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Jobspot - Amorous japes among colleagues

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It is likely that if you are reading this column, then you have not received many Valentine cards, else you would be reading those instead. So allow me to act as a Valentine's substitute, if you will, an Eros for the unErosed, a Cupid for the stupid.

All Valentine's cards are, by their very nature, stupid and pink. However, all Valentine's cards, even though they are utterly cheap, have a power wielded on the receiver which is exponentially larger than the pennies spent. Men underestimate this to their cost. I once acted as an adviser to a would-be suitor to a female friend of mine. Said suitor wanted to know what sort of flowers my friend would like. I suggested orchids, and the reaction was favourable. However, not so favourable to dislodge me and my sudden interest in my friend. I'm still with her today.

So flowers are good. Flowers from M&S are less good.

Flowers plucked from a graveyard less good still. But worst are flowers bought through car windows in traffic jams from men in woolly hats blackened by exhaust fumes.

Six red (and black) roses for a fiver does not a romantic evening make.Best is 'unusual' flowers delivered in the middle of the day so all in the office witness said floral influx.

Chocolates are rubbish.

Weekends away are a good idea but have to be well judged not to throw up 'where does he think he's sleeping?'

thought-bubbles. Notices in newspapers: effective if well done, tacky if not. Sustained e-mail contact can be flirtatious but anonymity is tough. But watch colleagues today being overattentive with their in-boxes and more curious than usual with their post.

So. Jobspot's tip for tonight?

Oysters, champagne and AJ.

Amorous japes, that is.

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