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I'd sooner have a sickie, thanks

OK, so you got off your face last night and there is no way you could remain upright on the mountain bike all the way into work this morning - and anyway it's raining and there's no rear mudguard and you'd look really silly with that thin column of water tangenting straight up from the back wheel above your head and then down into that sodden, unhappy racoon stripe down the back of your fleece.

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