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For the young, the europhile or those of you of a nervous disposition, stop right now.

Those less likely to be offended - or, should I say, those who don't suffer from queasy stomachs - read on.

A recent press release on the 'Ultimate Toileting Experience' has reached us from Geberit, promoting its amazing Shower Toilet - a combined WC, bidet and dryer. Not only this, but 'on contact with the seat' the 'user' (at least they didn't say 'customer') activates the built-in air purifier, which extracts air from the WC and directs it through an active carbon filter.

In a delightfully euphemistic way, it states that 'when the user is ready', the spray arm is 'released from its protected sleeve and ejects a spray of comfortable, bodytemperature water'. The showering action, which intriguingly can be operated by remote control, is accompanied by a 'gentle flow of warm drying air.' On retraction into its protected sleeve it is rinsed with fresh water. Please!

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