Hi there! It's great to be back. The name is Garth G Prendergast Jnr, director of Nonsuch University's third annual design summer school, and I want to persuade you to come along.
Yes, it's May, the time of year when all the marketing pedagogues want you to come to their colleges and meet the best design teachers in a boiling creative ferment that has raw energy zap-zap-zapping across the synapses all the way to the end of summer and beyond.
So why come to Nonsuch? Because this year we have an even longer list of teachers and lecturers with funny names, and lots more lecture slots called 'tba'. The lineup is so good that if I had my younger days all over again I'd sign up myself. If it weren't for my consultancy cataloguing the ruins of Baghdad - before they get ruined all over again by insensitive, inappropriate and, worse still, unsustainable redevelopment - I would be there with you at Nonsuch every step of the way. But that's enough from me, let me hand you over to Nonsuch Uni's emeritus professor of summer school admissions, Sigi Moleslinger Well, thank you, Doc Prendergast, we'll sure miss you on the podium, but hey! We really do have the greatest ever line-up of summer school teaching fellows.
There will be the MOBILE studio, run by adjunct professor Gigli Montaniero. Gigli is a partner at Duck Zany Trubshaw, New York, and this year at the summer school he will be assisted by Begnamino Quartz (sole trader, Strange Furniture Designs Inc, Madrid, Texas).
Next up will be the STATIC studio. This brainfest will be moderated by Jemima Puddleduck of Noseblast, with help from Putney Swope on tea-chest bass straight from those notorious Sustainex trials in Siberia. This will lead on to a revisit of Nonsuch's best-known work in progress, RUN RUN, by Prof Nurmi Bannister and his team of dancing academix.
WARP follows in the culpable hands of Lars Burp, and the team from Pocahontas was innocent, (top Boom club in Okinawa). Next up is HOUSING, an evergreen subject given a new twist by Patsy O'Pottle and Stephanie Bonhomie from Cidervat, both professors at Ye Olde Butterscotche Universitye, Chipping Norton.
Then there is a new one for Nonsuch, MORPHING, with Jane Gomez and the Lightfoot trio, three professors of landscape planning with a catchy thing about rhythm in the bunker.
CITY is another newcomer, with vibrant breakdancing administrators only too ready to show there really was a worse place to be than the Bastille.
And now for the main festbilt exercise in subcutaneous fat. It is the preliminary list of names for the MOREGAMES travelling symposium, which will link up with the summer school for the last two action-packed weeks of the summer school.
By popular demand we have a definite maybe for Carlos Winterbottom, co-founder of TSK TSK, together with Jeff Arnold, Sitting Bull and Asimo, Johnny Appleseed, Old Man River and Mike Mendoza. But the best is always last and it has to be Rotterdam bringing it over. Kite designer Mike Trekbike of GOSH will give a design studio on SPIES, and defies anyone to finish his course without having learned how to assemble their own courtyard cctv system.
Early Bird registrations win a 10 per cent discount. Call MAYBUG on 24-hour hotline at the Global Research Centre for sustainability. With thanks to the organisation group at Battleaxe, aka Jerome Kitchen, Tabletop Enterprises, Littleknown U, Klondike Street, Anchorage, Alaska.
PS: If this is one summer school email list too many for you, simply reply with 'enough already' in the subject line, and we will desist from sending you further dispatches.
When and where were you born?
What is your favourite building and why?
The Chrysler Building in New York, because it always smiles at me.
What is your favourite restaurant/meal?
Sashimi at the Ikeda Restaurant in Brook Street.
What vehicles do you own?
Ruston & Hornsby 040 Shunter, Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and a Volvo S80.
What is your favourite film?
What is your favourite book?
The Teaching of Buddha by W Rahula.
What is your favourite design classic?
The Doges Palace in Venice (below) .
What is the worst building you've ever seen and why?
Birmingham New Street railway station because it tests my love of trains to the limit.
Who or what is your biggest architectural influence and why?
Frank Lloyd Wright, because he had no preconceived ideas, had a wonderful imagination and didn't take himself too seriously.
Who is the most talented architect you've worked with?
If you hadn't been an architect, what would you have been?
An engine driver.
What would your advice be to architectural students?
Make your priorities the ability to design and to retain a sense of humour, and then worry about political and social correctness.
What would your motto be?
'A (blank) a day helps you work, rest and play' (please fill in as necessary).