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Downhill all the way after Glaswegian frolics

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As every Londoner knows, there are two things we take very seriously in Glasgow: deep-fried Mars bars and booze-filled weekends.

It is no wonder, then, in our stupor, that we failed to recognise that the dry ski-run proposal for Glasgow Green was actually a radical new housing concept from international superstar architect Zaha Hadid. Confused and ambiguous? You bet!

I understand that Ms Hadid has now decided to quit the UK as a consequence of our ignorance, but if it is not yet too late, please pass on this message of absolute penitence for our mistake: 'Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio.'

Forgive us London, for we are not worthy.

Alan Dunlop, Glasgow

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