We act for Lord Hellman of Wormwood, the distinguished salad cream tycoon and intellectual property speculator. It has come to our notice that you published a letter from one Ian Martin containing unwarranted and defamatory remarks which call into question our client’s probity. We wish to affirm that our client has never heard of anyone purporting to be Ian Martin, read anything by him on the back of any secret gutter tabloid or heard any of his virtual guitar licks. We await your apology nunc aut nunquam.
We remain, Sir, your obedient servants.
FEATHEROFF, STOP AND FILL, SOLICITORS