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Never judge a book by its cover.

Or, for that matter, a record by its sleeve. Fine words, but Astragal had to admit being surprised to hear that mildmannered CABE chief executive Richard Simmons is also a 'dance' DJ. That's right pop pickers, according to The Times, the unassuming watchdog boss has regularly rolled out his 'signature' house floor-filler - Rhythm is a Dancer by Snap - to whip the crowds of his Medway massive into a frenzy. This unusual revelation about 'Wheels of Steel' Simmons was paired with another bombshell - he is also a qualified climbing instructor.

Whether the report is accurate does seem a little questionable.

However, when is The Times, in the words of Snap, anything but 'as serious as cancer'?

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