2. 'Architect not wearing traditional frock coat'
3. 'Houseguests less glamorous than in brochure'
4. 'Now we've moved in, turns out to be in wrong part of country'
5. 'Wanted double Georgian garage not lecture on aesthetics'
6. 'Cost overrun very dramatic but with no clear narrative'
7. 'Channel 4 uninterested, despite huge financial outlay'
8. 'Thought contextual restraint meant yachting wire or something'
9. 'Architect knew more about global warming than planning system'
10. 'Woeful grasp of crib-pimping principles'